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September 3, 2007

Return of the Barbarians

Hello there,
I feel we've reached a sort of... threshold of familiarity. I think I'm finally comfortable enough to share some facts about my family.
First of all, I have 4 siblings. Our house is always full. Of noise. Never a dull moment, and all that.

Fortunately, everybody else was gone on vacation these past few weeks. Me? I spent the summer working, therefore enjoying the rare opportunity of having the entire place to myself.
Unfortunately, they're all back, now. And, as if there weren't enough of them as it is, they brought grandma and grandpa along.

So, after 2 months of eating alone (or barely eating) I suddenly find myself having dinner with a party of 8.
We say grace and sit down. I'm pretty starved and the burgers and pasta are making my mouth water. As I'm about to dig in, I realize that whoever set the table gave me 2 knives. And not even the manly kind you can cut with, I'm talking about 2 butter knives.
So I get up from the table and walk all the way to the cutlery drawer to fetch a fork. I sit down again and finally take a bite. It's delicious.
Then, my father asks for the salad. I pass him the salad.
I eat some pasta. It's good pasta.
My sister decides she wants a paper towel. Of course, she can't fetch it herself because she's sitting on the good side of the table. I reach back and stretch as far as I can and hand her the paper towels.
Meanwhile, after all this time, my mouth has dried up. I reach for my glass only to find out that I have no glass. Grandma's claimed it as her own.
So I get up. Again. To get a glass. I fill it at the sink, drink half, fill it up again and sit back at the table.
I've barely picked up my fork when grandpa, aching for some vegetables, reaches for the salad. He hits my glass, instead, and spills the water all over my plate and lap.

At that point, I just left. I waited 'till they were done before going back to the kitchen and eating by myself.


Ραψωδία said...

You can split up the salad and use a little plate for each. But then you won't be sure if everyone's got a plate and they might steal yours again. Oh, crap.
Do you actually go through that every day?

Dimitrios Doukoglou said...

Well, no, it's not like that all the time. Usually, the baby's screaming.
Also, another problem of 8 people dining together is the shortage of table surface. There's no way you can fit one more plate per person...

Ραψωδία said...

Can't you eat in groups of 4 then? :P
And you can draw straws for which team's turn is to keep the baby.

(allright, I get the point and the retardness of my proposal :P )