Tragedy Days

Ήμουν καλεσμένος στην ηχογράφηση του τελευταίου podcast των Διάτρητων ΑΕ.
Άμα έχετε 61 λεπτά και 4 δευτερόλεπτα να σκοτώσετε, περάστε από εκεί να μας ακούσετε να μιλάαααααμε. Το κομμάτι για το stand-up και τις Νύχτες Κωμωδίας ξεκινάει γύρω στο 13:10, όπου θα βρείτε και μια τέλεια techno έκδοση του theme του Tetris. Πιο μετά μιλάω και γι'αυτό το blog καθώς και για τα μελλόντικά μου σχέδια όσον αφορά τις Μαϊμού Ειδήσεις.

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If you could go back to any time anywhere, where would you go and why?

Sukeile asked me that awesome question in a comment on deviantArt, and I had so much fun coming up with an answer that I decided to post it here, as well.

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Let me say, first of all, that I'd much rather go forward in time, than back. I'm more curious about what's coming, than what went by.
Even so, the more I think about it, the more I find things I'd really like to witness in the past.
The Big Bang, for one --as you can see, I'm starting at the very beginning-- or even what existed before the Big Bang (not sure how I'd survive, though). There's so much of science I could prove or disprove by going back in time! I'd like to see some dinosaurs and prehistoric men (and, thus, corrobate the theory of evolution and whether dinosaurs had feathers), maybe check out what Jesus was like. Be a pirate on the Spanish Main (although that's probably more fun in the movies). Find out how Machu Pichu, the Stonehedge, the Pyramids and the Parthenon were built. Witness the Byzantine Empire, the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution and the turn of the century (or, simply put, every major event in human history). Meet Socrates, DaVinci, Alexander the Great, Christopher Columbus, Napoleon, Abraham Lincoln, Oscar Wilde and (moving closer to today) Carl Barks, Groucho Marx, Douglas Adams and Mitch Hedberg (though I'm not really sure what I'd say to them "Hey, there, I'm from the future!"). It would be like a super-enhanced museum experience.
Then, there's the temptation to influence past events. Save Anastasia Romanof (I'm not sure why that's the first thing that came to mind), help the Aztecs against Cortez, stop Hitler (see Red Alert) or the A-bombs, help Al Gore against Bush (as soon as I find out how...).
Or maybe just minor events. Go back to my younger self and teach him stuff I wish I had known back then (like how to talk to girls). Not sure I'd listen to myself, though...
The possibilities are endless! Even just introducing modern technology to people from the past would be fun, or I could just mess around with their heads...

To tell you the truth, I would probably try my best not to influence past events, for fear of tearing the time-space continuum, but still, what an awesome question...!
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What would you do if you could go back to any time anywhere? I'm certain there's great ideas I missed.

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Suited Monkey

Almost two months ago, Stelios Kouloglou, a Greek journalist, did a series of short videos showcasing some of the comics appearing at the Νύχτες Κωμωδίας Comedy Club in Athens.
Mine has finally been posted online: check it out! (sadly only in Greek)

A couple of thoughts after the jump...

That was probably one of my best sets, so I'm especially happy to have it on video. I think it comes across - it's surprisingly energetic (something compounded by the fact that I talk waytoofast)...
I like how they start with my joke about living with 4 siblings. It's something that describes me accurately and succinctly. They've picked my most palatable material -which conflicts somewhat with my statement, at the beginning, that "my set becomes more surreal with every passing year", but what are you going to do?

... It'd be nice if they hadn't mistyped my name in the accompanying text, though.

Now, can anybody show me how to save this and embed it? ... Never mind, found it!

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My favourite songs, today.

:)

(via BoingBoing (via Kottke))

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What I Learned About Stand-Up Comedy In London

Note: I was going to upload this almost a week ago, but other things took precedence.

There is only one comedy club in Athens, where I live. The one I work at. You'd think it would be hard to get booked, but there aren't a lot of aspiring stand-up comedians in Athens, where I live, either (or established ones, for that matter). As a result, I learned pretty much everything I know by watching HBO specials and reading FAQs on the interet.

Attending a live comedy show is a very different experience to watching an hour-long HBO special.
Let me tell you, sitting among the audience, looking at a sparkling microphone lit by a single spotlight on an empty stage and hearing repeated announcements saying "the show will start in 10, 5, 2 minutes" is a lot more exciting than double-clicking on an .avi file...

Then there's the crowd warm-up and audience interaction that you can't really witness anyplace else. Right off the bat, the comedians' experience was obvious. These guys were professionals. Mind you, not all of them made me laugh. After all, a professional isn't necessarily "better" than an amateur, he just does whatever it is he does for a living - and it was clear these guys had put a lot of work into their acts. Years of polishing their material had allowed them to juice every possible laugh from their concepts, coming at them from all conceivable angles.
You could just tell they'd done thousands of shows. Heard pretty much every possible heckle. And, boy, were there heckles. I went to a Friday late show (it started at midnight) and most of the audience were pretty tipsy even before the show had begun. At some point, a German lady sitting in front of me was just yelling gibberish, considerably lessening my enjoyment. Still, the performers handled it like, well, pros.

I was impressed by how quick-witted they appeared, how they made it seem like they had funny remarks about anything and everything at the tip of their tongues. "Oh, so you're a carpenter? Here's a joke about that. And you, sir? Norwegian? Hah! Listen to this!" There's this trick they do where they repeat the audience's answer to every question ("Where are you from?" "Scotland." "Scotland!") which keeps the people who didn't hear interested, while conveniently buying enough time to think of a comeback. Even so, I wish I had attended a second show, just to figure out how much of it was improvised and how much just looked that way.

Even when mocking the audience, though, they'd put "a little more effort" into the joke. At some point, the host made fun of a patron's open-legged stance. "My balls are so big, I can't sit any other way." he said. Some would have stopped there. After all, he got the laugh. Still, he went one step further: "Saturn has been pushed out of its orbit because of the gravitational pull of my enormous balls". It wasn't as funny, but it gave the (false?) impression that he wasn't just going for the easy dick joke.
I found it interesting that, when interacting with the audience, they would stick to a topic even if it wasn't killing, confident that they'd get a good laugh eventually. Long running jokes and callbacks created a sense of "shared experience" and won us over. Combined with the fact that they answered each. And. Every. Heckle, this really strengthened their frame and won our respect. They made it look like they weren't seeking a response. Curious detail: They didn't ask for audience member's names, rather going straight for "where are you from, what do you do".

Besides the Comedy Store, I also went to a much less glamorous show: it took place in a Hotel basement without spotlights or microphone. The show wasn't sold out (about 40 out of the room's 60 seats were full) and the main act mostly joked around with the crowd, probably the wisest choice, seeing as how the next number - who tried to do straight material, really intelligent stuff with lots of double-entendres - bombed miserably

I was surprised by how much every comedian I saw kissed up to the audience (a behaviour you don't see much in HBO Specials where the egos are bigger and the crowds adoring). Rather than ask us to applaud them, they'd tell us to give our love to the mic or applaud ourselves for being such an awesome bunch. I guess it's easier to say "is that all you've got?" when you're not asking for praise on your own behalf.
Being in the audience also made me realize how hard it is to remember the performers' names... even if you intend to! Dimitris is a common name in Greece and getting people to remember it is a riddle I have yet to solve.

All in all, it was a great experience. Turns out that, in many ways, we have it good, here in Greece. It's a lot easier to get booked, and competition among comedians is much less intense. I'm also proud to say we offer a pretty good show, even by British standards. Our problems are mostly on the marketing side. Unfortunately, the smaller market also means it's impossible to make a living just from stand-up...
More than anything else, seeing stand-up shows in London made me realize I owe it to myself to try my luck abroad.

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Μαϊμού Ειδήσεις 1: Οργή για τον 15χρονο

Ακούστε αυτήν την είδηση: mp3

Διαβάστε το πλήρες κείμενο μετά το άλμα...



Αθήνα 08/12/2008

Συνεχίζονται για τρίτη μέρα σε ολόκληρη τη χώρα τα επεισόδια και οι εκδηλώσεις διαμαρτυρίας για τη δολοφονία του 15χρονου Αλέξη Γρηγορόπουλου από ειδικό φρουρό αργά το βράδυ του Σαββάτου, και η ερώτηση στα χείλη όλων είναι: «Πόσο τραγικά ηλίθιος μπορεί να είναι κάποιος, για να πυροβολήσει ένα παιδί; Πόσο τρομαχτικά ανεγκέφαλος; Δε θα 'πρεπε η χρήση βίας να είναι έσχατη λύση κι όχι αντακλαστική αντίδραση; Μήπως λέγονται ειδικοί φρουροί επειδή είναι φρουροί με ειδικές ανάγκες; Κι άμα είναι έτσι, γιατί τους δίνουν όπλα; Κάτσε, δικό μου είναι αυτό το αμάξι που καίγεται;»

Απαντώντας στις κατηγορίες για δολοφονία ανηλίκου, ο ειδικός φρουρός δήλωσε: «Μα φαινόταν τουλάχιστον 18!», χωρίς, όμως, να πείθει ιδιαίτερα.

Σκηνές ωμής βίας περιέγραψε ανταποκριτής του Alpha Radio, με τις δυνάμεις των ΜΑΤ να ξυλοκοπούν διαδηλωτές εντελώς απροκάλυπτα, μπροστά στα μάτια εξοργισμένων περαστικών. Κοινώς, οι αστυνομικοί δεν. Έμαθαν. Τίποτα.
Την ίδια στιγμή, το Mega πήρε το αυθεντικό βίντεο της δολοφονίας και το πρόβαλε έχοντας προσθέσει συνθήματα και ήχους διαδηλώσεων. Προφανώς, θεωρήθηκε πως το αρχικό βίντεο αδικούσε τους ειδικούς φρουρούς και, στα πλαίσια της σωστής και αντικειμενικής ενημέρωσης, αποφασίστηκε αυτή η ανισορροπία να διευθετηθεί. Στη συνέχεια, μεταδόθηκε μοντάζ εικόνων αστυνομικής βίας με μουσική υπόκρουση την Άνοιξη απο τις «Τέσσερις Εποχές» του Vivaldi. «Όπως φαίνεται ξεκάθαρα από το ντοκουμέντο, δεν τους δέρνουν, τους μυούν στην κλασική μουσική.»

Ταυτόχρονα, η κυβέρνηση φαίνεται να έχει παραλύσει εντελώς, ενώ τα κόμματα της αντιπολίτευσης αναλώνονται σε πολιτικές σκοπιμότητες οργανώνοντας 3 διαφορετικές πορείες στο κέντρο της Αθήνας και φωνάζοντας σαν μανάβηδες στη λαϊκή: «Εδώ η καλή πορεία! Όχι τη δική τους πορεία, τη δική μας!»
Το αντιεξουσιαστικό κίνημα, από την πλευρά του, ξεχύθηκε στους δρόμους σαν ποπκόρν σε ανοιχτή κατσαρόλα - κάνοντας τα πάντα χάλια και χωρίς συγκεκριμένο στόχο. Τα αιτήματα τους είναι ακόμη ασαφή: «Ποιος 15χρονος; Εμένα ο μπαμπάς μου πουλάει ασφάλειες αυτοκινήτων» δήλωσε μπάχαλος, σπάζοντας με το κράνος του το παρμπριζ ενός σταθμευμένου Ι.Χ. Λίγο πιο δίπλα ένας συναγωνιστής του αναφώνησε οργισμένος: «Κάδος σκότωσε τον αδερφό μου!»


Ίσως, όμως, έχει αρχίσει να αχνοφαίνεται μία ελπίδα εκτόνωσης της κρίσης. Καθώς ένας άντρας των ΜΑΤ γρονθοκοπούσε έναν φοιτητή, λίγο πιο δίπλα ένας κουκουλοφόρος πετούσε μολότωφ στην Εθνική Βιβλιοθήκη. Για μια στιγμή, τα βλέμματα τους διασταυρώθηκαν. Μέσα σε αυτήν τη στιγμή, τα πάντα άλλαξαν. Μέσα σε μία, μαγική, στιγμή συνειδητοποίησαν πόσα κοινά έχουν. Ξάφνου, παράτησαν ό,τι έκαναν και όρμηξαν ο ένας προς τον άλλον. Όχι για να πλακωθούν, όχι. Για να αγκαλιαστούν.
Σιγά-σιγά, κι άλλοι ακολούθησαν το αλλόκοτο παράδειγμά τους ώσπου στο τέλος, μπάτσοι και μπάχαλοι, μονιασμένοι, άρχισαν να τρέχουν πίσω από τους πολίτες, μανιασμένοι, για να τους σπάσουν τα κεφάλια.

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Christmas Ornaments

We put up our Christmas decorations today. We've had the same fake tree for the past 20 years, but for the first time in my life, I noticed that we've got some pretty weird-ass ornaments. Notice the welcome sign, above).

I guess everyone's got the various messages of hope and peace and Santa ornaments.
Of course, there's also the home-made decorations we bought from a bazaar for some Cause or other:

At some point, the Christmas associations really start getting stretched...


How about this?

After a while we pretty much stop trying. It's just "things that hang on".

But what about these guys?

This next one has got to be my absolute favourite.

It's a koala bear furry dressed as Santa!


We also have a weird rule in our family:
We never throw christmas ornaments away.
As a result, there are quite a few ornaments on whom the years have taken their toll. Now they're just creepy. Like this empty sleigh.

this bare fireplace,

the pirate santa,
or this:

You'd expect there to be a Dad and Mom sweater as well. Or at least a Daughter one.
Nope. That's all. SON.

But I think this last one is the scariest one of all:

The weirdest thing is that it's always been like that. There never was a body to begin with! I guess that's why Santa doesn't bring gifts to the Voodoo children anymore...

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