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October 21, 2007

Dumbledore was a queer!

Ok, this is way too much fun not to mention. Apparently, J.K. Rowling outed Dumbledore!
So that's why he was being all chummy with Gellert Grindelwald. "Think of the fan fiction" indeed!
The rest of this is just shameless gay jokes (I can't help myself). Consider yourselves warned.

My first thought was, well duuuuuuuuuh, didn't you see his look when he was checking out Harry's... wand? How about his Firebolt broomstick?
Personally, though, I'm ecstatic. I think it's a wonderful revelation, it fits his secretive character, and it's just plain fun to watch the conservatives stumbling all over themselves in the comments.

"It's a publicity stunt! A last-minute move to grab some more of that fading spotlight!" Obviously! Rowling is pandering to the homosexuals! 'Cause 300 million books sold and 2 movies yet to... come out means Harry Potter is so five minutes ago.

"Albus Dumbledore gay ? Ridiculous. Until now I thought the worst thing Rowling could do to Dumbledore was kill him." Now she's raping his corpse! With a strap-on!

According to Ambur_Nikole1, "Websters Dictionary says" Gay" means immoral and dissipated and is having to do with homosexuality!! Websters Dictionary says homosexuality is sexual activity with a person of the same sex!!! Not me but someone smarter then me!!! said that." The... let's call it "grammar" and "syntax" are giving me some trouble, but I think what she's saying is that "gay" means "homosexual". According to Webster. I'm not sure, and I think she's not sure either.

Homophobia? Pah! knoxdkm informs us that "'Homophobia' is a foolish word created by left-wing morons. There is nothing ignorant, prejudicial, intolerant, etc. about believing that homosexuality is wrong." ... I mean, seriously, do I sound ignorant, prejudiced or intolerant to you?
Apparently, some things should be left to the imagination... but only as long as we're not forced to picture Harry Potter and the Glistening Bratwurst.
... the Philosopher's Boner?
I'll stop now.

... the Order of the Penis?


Mel said...

Peh. You can do better than that, man! (sorry, monkey!)
I guess this is the first that came to mind, though... It is pretty fresh news, after all.

Dimitrios Doukoglou said...

I decided that either I'll never update, either they won't all be incredibly hilarious. Still, I think it's got some fun parts.

Asaph said...

Dumby is "flicking the wand" and so many other hilarious phrases:P

I think that there was actually no need to out him... Specially when (supposably) the series has ended...
And, yeah, he's dead ain't he?:P