Nocturnal Monkey

I'm done with last year's jokes. Done! Yay for this year's fresh, new jokes! There's a video of me performing some of the material from this blog after the jump. A few excrepts from my set at Νύχτες Κωμωδίας last Sunday.
I'm not quite sure why the cameraman decided to use the nightshot function, but it turns out I'm funnier in night-vision.

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Dumbledore was a queer!

Ok, this is way too much fun not to mention. Apparently, J.K. Rowling outed Dumbledore!
So that's why he was being all chummy with Gellert Grindelwald. "Think of the fan fiction" indeed!
The rest of this is just shameless gay jokes (I can't help myself). Consider yourselves warned.

My first thought was, well duuuuuuuuuh, didn't you see his look when he was checking out Harry's... wand? How about his Firebolt broomstick?
Personally, though, I'm ecstatic. I think it's a wonderful revelation, it fits his secretive character, and it's just plain fun to watch the conservatives stumbling all over themselves in the comments.

"It's a publicity stunt! A last-minute move to grab some more of that fading spotlight!" Obviously! Rowling is pandering to the homosexuals! 'Cause 300 million books sold and 2 movies yet to... come out means Harry Potter is so five minutes ago.

"Albus Dumbledore gay ? Ridiculous. Until now I thought the worst thing Rowling could do to Dumbledore was kill him." Now she's raping his corpse! With a strap-on!

According to Ambur_Nikole1, "Websters Dictionary says" Gay" means immoral and dissipated and is having to do with homosexuality!! Websters Dictionary says homosexuality is sexual activity with a person of the same sex!!! Not me but someone smarter then me!!! said that." The... let's call it "grammar" and "syntax" are giving me some trouble, but I think what she's saying is that "gay" means "homosexual". According to Webster. I'm not sure, and I think she's not sure either.

Homophobia? Pah! knoxdkm informs us that "'Homophobia' is a foolish word created by left-wing morons. There is nothing ignorant, prejudicial, intolerant, etc. about believing that homosexuality is wrong." ... I mean, seriously, do I sound ignorant, prejudiced or intolerant to you?
Apparently, some things should be left to the imagination... but only as long as we're not forced to picture Harry Potter and the Glistening Bratwurst.
... the Philosopher's Boner?
I'll stop now.

... the Order of the Penis?

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If I had a time machine, I'd tell the person who spoiled The Usual Suspects for me how he's going to die.

Από το Devilogical:
"Σημερα, με ολο και περισσοτερα παιχνιδια να δινουν αρκετη βαση στην ιστορια περα του gameplay η αναγκη να μοιραστεις αυτη την εμπειρια με τους μη gamers φιλους σου γινεται ολο και μεγαλυτερη."

I'd be gaming a lot more, if that were true.
Νομίζω παλαιότερα τα παιχνίδια βασίζονταν πολύ στην ιστορία. Τον καιρό των Monkey Island, του Full Throttle, του StarCraft, του original Half-Life...
Σήμερα, στην εποχή των graphics-heavy action games (τους fans των οποίων αρέσκεται να θάβει ο Yahtzee), λίγα είναι τα παιχνίδια που αξίζουν μόνο για την πλοκή τους ή για τα συναισθήματα που σου δημιουργούν...

Ας δούμε, πχ, τα most popular games του GameSpot, σήμερα.
1. Street Fighter (I imagine it has to do with fighting. On the street.)
2. Bionic Commando (Bionic Commando features a hero with a grappling hook arm used to navigate levels, to take out enemies, rappel down sheer surfaces, and more.)
3. Halo 3 (υποτίθεται πως έχει πλοκή, αλλά meh)
4. Super Mario Galaxy (looks fun as hell, but no plot here)
5. Unreal Tournament 3 (...)
6. Super Smash Bros. Brawl
7. The Orange Box (ok, αυτό είναι που αναφέραμε ήδη)
8. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (wow! it's not WWII anymore!)
9. Too Human (Too Human is a sci-fi action adventure from developer Silicon Knights. - fascinating!)
10. Link's Crossbow Training (for the Wii)
If you didn't notice, that last one was the punchline...

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